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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_3610-investments-everyone-can-afford.webp "Kris Krohn")
_7-alternative-investments-that-can-make-you-very-rich-2022.webp "Charlie Chang")
_how-should-entrepreneurs-incorporate-ai-into-their-businesses-.webp "AI has had a number of transformative effect on people and businesses, but how do you use AI safely in your small business? This panel of industry insiders at Imagination In Action’s ‘Forging the Future of Business with AI’ Summit breaks how entrepreneurs can be realistic about how they can use AI to grow their business and help customers. <br/><br/>Subscribe to FORBES: https://www.youtube.com/user/Forbes?sub_confirmation=1<br/><br/>Fuel your success with Forbes. Gain unlimited access to premium journalism, including breaking news, groundbreaking in-depth reported stories, daily digests and more. Plus, members get a front-row seat at members-only events with leading thinkers and doers, access to premium video that can help you get ahead, an ad-light experience, early access to select products including NFT drops and more:<br/><br/>https://account.forbes.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=growth_non-sub_paid_subscribe_ytdescript<br/><br/>Stay Connected<br/>Forbes newsletters: https://newsletters.editorial.forbes.com<br/>Forbes on Facebook: http://fb.com/forbes<br/>Forbes Video on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/forbes<br/>Forbes Video on Instagram: http://instagram.com/forbes<br/>More From Forbes:http://forbes.com<br/><br/>Forbes covers the intersection of entrepreneurship, wealth, technology, business and lifestyle with a focus on people and success.")
_i39m-investing-in-these-3-high-growth-stocks-in-sip-mode-124-fundamental-analysis.webp "Akshat Shrivastava")
_fisher-investments-reviews-your-questions-on-passive-investing-value-leadership-amp-more.webp "Fisher Investments")
_woman39s-shock-after-finding-south-american-monkey-in-her-conservatory-at-home.webp "A woman was left 'hysterical' after discovering a South American marmoset monkey in her conservatory at her home - in Wolverhampton. <br/><br/>Animal rescuers were called by the \")
_nio-stock-this-is-huge.webp "Invest With Corey")
_9234how-to-make-millions-in-a-market-crash9234-peter-lynch.webp "FREENVESTING")
_one-in-four-adults-prefer-it-firm-in-the-bedroom-when-it-comes-to-mattresses.webp "One in four adults prefer it firm in the bedroom - when it comes to mattresses, at least.<br/><br/>But a study of 2,000 adults revealed 28 per cent thought they'd prefer a firm mattress only to realise they need something softer.<br/><br/>And 23 per cent are currently sleeping on something they’re not totally happy with.<br/><br/>To show how to make the right decision, eveSleep created an updated version of the children's classic 'The Princess and the Pea'.<br/><br/>At a pop-up event, they created two stacks of mattresses - with one hiding a giant size pea underneath.<br/><br/>Consumers were put to the test to see if they were sensitive sleepers and could detect the hidden ‘pea’ while lying on a stack of mattresses.<br/><br/>Lisa Richards from the online mattress maker, which commissioned the research to launch wunderflip, its double-sided adaptive comfort range, said: “Sleep isn't just a luxury, it's a necessity for a healthy life - the right mattress is your partner in achieving that rejuvenating rest. <br/><br/>“It's about finding the perfect balance of support and comfort to ensure you wake up every morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world.<br/><br/>“Your mattress plays a crucial role in the quality of your sleep, affecting everything from your mood to your productivity the next day.<br/><br/>“That’s why we’re helping keen snoozers make the right choice when shopping online, giving them a choice of two different comfort ratings.”<br/><br/>The study also revealed of those who don’t like their current mattress, 43 per cent said it causes them more discomfort than it does relief.<br/><br/>And sleeping on an unsuitable mattress is most likely to lead to pain in the lower back (56 per cent) or the neck (36 per cent).<br/><br/>While 27 per cent will feel the strain across the shoulders, and 14 per cent will even report pain in their legs.<br/><br/>More than a quarter (26 per cent) even admit the quality of their mattress will ‘very much’ impact their mood on any given morning.<br/><br/>And 32 per cent admit they have trouble falling asleep regularly, according to the OnePoll.com figures.<br/><br/>The ‘Bed Battle: Team Firm vs Team Soft’ experience will take place at Gallery@Oxo in London’s Southbank from Thursday 2nd May to Sunday 5th May.<br/><br/>Lisa Richards added: \")
_tesla-cybertruck-first-accident-on-the-highway-what-are-the-damages.webp "The Megawatts")
_alert-did-the-bust-finally-begin-rate-cut-hopes-on-bad-economic-news-housing-breaking-point.webp "BULL BOOM - BEAR BUST")
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